Hello. I am Sarah.
I post stuff. Stuff I like. Funny stuff. Cute stuff. All the stuff.
babe get ready for a night on the town, i just found an old Subway gift card and there’s still $9.45 left on it
Happy Birthday Smokey! This (candle-less) cake is for you!
LET’S DO A REVIEW OF LISA FRANK© BRAND BERRY-SCENTED BODY WASH
WE GOT THIS SHIT AS A CHRISTMAS GIFT THANKS TO BERRY-SCENTED TUMBLR USER JENNYLOGGINS
I AM A HULKING, BURLY, MASCULINE MAN, SO USUALLY I USE OLD SPICE OR IRISH SPRING OR SOME MANLY SHIT LIKE THAT BUT TODAY I WAS OUT OF SOAP SO I USED THIS SHIT
FIRST OFF LET’S START WITH THE PACKAGING
THIS FUCKING RAINBOW-ASS UNICORN IS THERE IN THE SHOWER EVERY DAY, EVERY FUCKING DAY THIS LITTLE FAGGOT SITS THERE AND GIVES ME THAT SULTRY GAZE WHILE IM TRYING TO CLEAN MY VULNERABLE NAKED ASS
rub me on your body
ALSO IT’S WORTH NOTING THAT THIS SHIT COMES WITH A WARNING NOT ONLY TO KEEP IT OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN BUT THAT PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO YOUR SKIN CAN GIVE YOU RASHES AND PROBABLY UNICORN HERPES OR SOME OTHER SHIT
IDK ABOUT YALL BUT LAST I CHECKED THE EXACT PURPOSE OF BODY WASH IS PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO YOUR SKIN SO THAT RIGHT THERE WAS A RED FLAG BUT I PROCEEDED, ALBEIT WITH PROPER PRECAUTION AS TO AVOID APPLYING AROUND MY EYES AS DIRECTED BY THE PACKAGING OF LISA FRANK© BRAND BERRY-SCENTED BODY WASH. ALSO IT SAYS TO KEEP IT OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN WHICH LEADS ME TO BELIEVE THEY ARE MARKETING THIS PRODUCT NOT FOR CHILDREN BUT FOR GROWN MEN SUCH AS MYSELF
I APPLIED A GENEROUS AMOUNT TO MY HANDS TO BEGIN THE CLEANING.
i’m so fucked up
AND THAT WAS WHEN THE MOST POTENT SMELL OF ARTIFICIALLY FLAVORED BERRY I HAVE EVER EXPERIENCED IN MY LIFE HIT ME LIKE A FUCKING EARTHQUAKE
I NEARLY FELL OVER IN THE SHOWER. IT WAS SO FUCKING BERRY. IT WAS LIKE I MADE SWEET LOVE TO AN ANTHROPOMORPHIC BERRY WOMAN AND DOVE NOSE-FIRST INTO HER GUSHING FRUITY LOINS. THERE WAS NO FURTHER DOUBT THAT THIS WAS INDEED LISA FRANK© BRAND BERRY-SCENTED BODY WASH. IT’S NO WONDER LISA FRANK’S ART IS ALL SO COLORFUL, SHE’S FUCKING HIGH AS BALLS HUFFING HER BERRY-ASS BODY WASH.
IT GOT ME CLEAN BUT I HAVE A HEADACHE FROM ALL THAT FUCKING BERRY. I UNDERSTAND THE WARNING LABEL NOW. THIS SHIT IS PROBABLY TOXIC TO SMALL CHILDREN, IT’LL BERRY THEIR FUCKING BRAIN CELLS TO DEATH. DO NOT TRUST THAT SULTRY UNICORN. YOU SEE THE MILKY WHITE COLOR IT’S PROBABLY HIS SPOOGE IN THAT BOTTLE IT’S NOT EVEN BODY WASH I JUST CLEANED MYSELF WITH BUBBLY BERRY UNICORN BATTER
0/10 WOULD NOT BERRY AGAIN
I FUCKING AM CHOKING AND PEEING AND DYING OF LAUGHTER I JUST FUCKING CAN’T RIGHT NOW. PLEASE REVIVE ME SWEET LORD.
This post is my life force
note to self: make an audio post of this
i want female villains whose backstory don’t revolve around men breaking their hearts or wanting to be more beautiful than another girl i want female villains who are evil for the fun of it and i want female villains with tragic backstories that don’t revolve around men i want female villains with backstories and motives just as diverse and complex as male villains i’m so sick of female villains who are only motivated by men and girlhate
Cauldron on Flickr.
a public service announcement
You will only end up with mud on your palette and tears on your face
my mom was carrying her ipad and a piece of pizza but she stumbled and dropped her ipad on the floor but held tight to her pizza and i’m so glad i know where my priorities come from
the lady on the news just said two brothers in their mid thirties in my area were recently arrested for multiple counts of murder and 9 years of credit card fraud and i think we all know whats really going on here
waiting for the gif
I don’t know what’s really going on here. What’s really going on here??
well to summarize…
when there’s a group of your friends hanging out and youre like trying to join the conversation but dont know how
I’m relating to a turtle and an apple. IM RELATING TO A TRUTLE AND AN APPLE!
that’s a fucking tomato
Page 1 of 1966